Give Me Back My Kidney!

I couldn't believe a recent article I read... apparently there's a couple going through a divorce up in NY and of course they're dealing with all the usual hangups that are typically involved.  They have children,  their house, their possessions... all which need to be amicably divided.  And then there's the issues of his kidney.... who gets to keep that?

I know, I couldn't believe it either.  Apparently the wife needed a kidney transplant a few years back and the husband was a perfect match.  He volunteered to have his kidney removed and donated it to his wife in order to save her life.  Now, he wants the kidney back or to be paid $1.4 million to settle the divorce.

We can give of ourselves in many ways.  Our time, our money, our talents and even our kidneys in some cases.  When we give from a place of pure love, there are no strings attached.   The desire to give and the joy it brings is not dependent on how our gifts are received  by others.  This is the basis of unconditional love.  When we can give of ourselves without ANY expectation, we are giving from a place of pure love.  

Have you ever given somebody a birthday present that you thought they'd love?  Come only to find out that they either regifted it to somebody else or they returned it for something different?  Many of us might feel bad or even insulted that our gift wasn't wanted or received in the way we wanted.  If we had given that gift from a place of pure love, it wouldn't matter how the gift was received...the joy is in the act of giving.

Ok, back to the kidney... this guy is bitter because his marriage didn't work out.  The picture he had for the rest of his life, now has to change.  If he knew his marriage would eventually end, would he have opted to let his wife die years ago?  Who knows... the point is that he didn't give the gift from a place of love.  He had strings attached to his gift.  There was a selfish motivation to the gift... an assumption that giving the kidney would allow her to live, not for her sake, but so that she could continue to serve him in the marriage and in life.  If this isn't the case, then why would he want the kidney back? 

This story reminds me to check in with my motivations when I give of my time and resources.  It's ok to feel good inside when you give of yourself, just be sure your giving from a place of love.  No strings attached.

Peace.... Sacred Space Yoga ROCKS!

 

Posted on Tue, January 13, 2009 by SD

3 comments (Add your own)

1. wrote:
don't be stupid, there are always strings attached. not always attachment to the recipient's reaction, but attachment to the idea that we need to see ourselves as giving. humans are not altruistic beings, not even with their children - we don't have children because we want to give them a generous gift of life! we have children to fulfill ourselves, our ideals, our own needs. living with honesty about one's motives and truth seems difficult, even for yogis/yoginis...

Tue, January 13, 2009 @ 9:08 PM

2. self-fulfilled mom in rockville wrote:
I disagree that there are always strings attached.
Hopefully, yoga teaches us how to move through life WITHOUT having
conditions, expectations, and an agenda...this is the point of practicing
yoga. To liberate oneself from selfishhess and move towards
self-fulfillment.

As a mother, I am offended by your comment about children.
This may be YOUR truth, but it is not mine. Sure, my child brings me
great joy and enhances my happiness. However, I do not use my child as
a means to achieve self-fulfillment. There is a difference.

Peace and light to you my friend.

Tue, January 13, 2009 @ 10:40 PM

3. John Bohlmann wrote:
Did you ever notice that sometimes it's hard to honestly "own" your own thoughts and comments? Hence the anonymity attached to "don't be stupid...".

In my opinion the thing with the kidney is pretty much a statement of the way people see the world right now in general. It's a competitive world and everything seems to be loaded with expectation of a return on investment and to watch out for being "used". When things don't go as planned it all becomes about "look at all I've spent on this, I feel so stupid for giving". I would bet anonymous has trouble deeply connecting with people because the perception is so deeply ingrained that it's about the self.

This may be more than can be understood at the moment, but is it possible to receive the child as a gift to YOU!? And all the child wants to give you is a chance to see yourself more clearly. What do you think is "in it" for the child to be born into a self-serving situation such as the one being described?

Wed, January 14, 2009 @ 7:17 PM

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